So yeah if you read my last blog entry I am going to need you to just go ahead and forget about all that. Nothing true in it anymore. Well not much anyway.
There is some quote about life laughing at you when you are busy making plans. Or maybe God laughs at you. Somebody laughs. Possibly everyone. In any case that is precisely what happened since I wrote the last blog entry.
I went to a week of training at the insurance thing. Ridiculous. I mean I just hated it and it was really not training at all so I wasn't feeling great. BUT...okay I thought, I can deal. My first real day was supposed to be Tuesday at 3pm (Weird right?)
That Sunday on a whim I put down a deposit on an apartment in Hermitage. On Monday my dad's van broke down so I drove to Manchester to help him. Tuesday at 10am my dad had a Dr appointment that went bad. He ended up being admitted to the hospital and I consequently missed my first day. Also I got an email inviting me to an interview for a job with the State. I spent the rest of the week with my Dad. (He is fine btw).
The next week my Dad had surgery (crazily enough for a different issue), I went to the interview, we took a trip to Indiana and I decided I don't want to do the insurance thing.
Basically I watched my Dad have 2 medical situations within a 7 day period and realized that if either of them happened to ME on my current insurance I would be paying for it for decades. I need the safety of good medical benefits.
So...I might very well be a sell out but I accepted the job with the state. I will be working with disability claims. It probably will be the hardest thing I have ever done. Not intellectually of course, but I have not worked anywhere in 11 months. Soon I will have to get up at 6 am (I hope no earlier) every day. I have not done that since high school. I get tired from taking a shower people. I will have no flexibility at this job and I have always had flexibility where I worked in getting in my 40 hours. Nope this is very much an 8-4:30 deal. And I will not be able to just get up and move about or take a break if I don't feel good. It will be SO different. Also, I have no joy in the idea of the job. My identity as a librarian was so much of ME, this job is nothing like that. So, I am basically terrified.
But...that makes it sound all bad. It isn't. I am moving into an apartment that I really like, and I am mostly excited about that. (I am sort of walking on eggshells about it right now. I have put down a non-refundable deposit BUT I have no real proof if income right now so I am just praying they let me keep it until my new job sends me something. I have asked for it but...so far no dice). And I know this is just a beginning. Change is hard and scary and never easy (at least for me). It could be a great thing. I might love it and/or find something else I love because of it. I know I will have medical care and security I would not have otherwise and that is important. To me it has to be.
So no big jump into selling insurance - for that I am pretty glad. But a big jump into new things none-the-less. Pray I have the strength to do what needs to be done.
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