To Sleep Perchance To Dream

So...May was the worst month ever.

Not even kidding. I had no idea what was going on but whatever it was hit me like a ton of bricks and it really felt like a literal ton. The very first weekend of the month I was sitting at work and fell asleep at my desk.What? This is not normal. It was graduation weekend and I had a very long day ahead of me so I told my boss I was going to go home and take some medicine, sleep a bit and would be back for that evenings dinner and baccalaureate service that were NOT really optional activities. I went home and...well could not convince myself to get back out of bed. At all. I missed graduation the next day - I was supposed to be one of the people leading the graduates to their seats. My absence was VERY noticeable by people you don't want to be noticed by for being absent if you know what I mean. The next day I missed seeing my Mom on Mothers Day. The next day  I tried to go to work and was almost in 2 car wrecks b/c I was so out of it while driving I was not doing the right things.

Then I got scared. I missed the rest of that week of work. Partially because getting out of bed felt like a monumental task, but also partially because I was afraid to drive my car. Finally I was able to see my doctor. She sent me to a sleep specialist. He sent me for a sleep study.

         

Yeah, it was tons of fun. I just got my results back.

I have sleep apnea. I am kind of surprised to be honest. Usually when something is wrong with me I pay tons of money, do invasive tests and then they say, nope you don't have it. But this time I do. They said I stop breathing 11 times per hour (I think it is hour...whatever the unit of measurement is) BUT when I am in REM sleep (the one you need to actually be rested) that goes up to 18 times an hour. So...that would explain the tiredness. I just saw a copy of my actual sleep study and the night of my test I only got 13 minutes of REM sleep. Yeah, that sucks.

So now I am waiting for a call to schedule another sleep study so I can get a CPAP machine. I am apprehensive about sleeping with a machine covering my face. Honestly, though, this month has been SO horrific that I am willing to try anything. The doctor says that my level of apnea is really not that severe - a severe case is usually at 30 times an hour. My issue is that the apnea is causing my fibromyalgia to constantly flare. Sleep deprivation is the worst thing for a fibro patient so...obviously these two conditions don't play well together. Sadly many fibro people do have sleep apnea as well - now I can affirm I am one of them. They think allergies made it harder for me to breathe (me and the rest of the world!) and that is what caused the "crisis" event at the beginning of the month, but apparently I have always had apnea.

Sexy huh? LOL...I have no idea what mine will actually look like but any lingering hope of getting a boyfriend just died....sigh

I am cautiously optimistic. If this really can help me get deeper and better sleep than it could help me in many ways. My doctor was quick to remind me that I will still have fibromyalgia. This is not a cure all fix. If I can get more energy and better sleep, though, I feel like I might finally be able to break out of this cycle of not feeling well enough to take care of myself in order to feel better. It is a defeating cycle!

So...here is to sleeping...and even more importantly....to dreaming!

Wait, No...not that

There we go