The One Wonder If I am Getting Dumber

I created a GoodReads account in 2008. I was so excited because I remember having a conversation with one of my uncles when I was younger and he told me he wished he had kept a list of all the books he ever read. I thought that was an amazing idea, however I did not follow through. I never started my own list, but I wished I had many time. When I first heard about GoodReads, then, I was totally on board. I created an account and started trying to remember everything I ever read. Ummm...yeah that didn't work. I couldn't remember exactly which of the million Nancy Drew books I might have missed. And then to think about  Curious George and Corduroy and all the millions of other books I would never remember...it totally overwhelmed me. I gave up.

In January of 2009 I started a NEW GoodReads account. I simply kept track of all the books I read that year. I have been doing it ever since and I love being able to go back and look at what I read. If I am trying to remember that book I wanted to tell so-and-so about, it is right there for me! It is great. I looked the other day and realized since I have joined I have read 296 books. Not bad...but then I started to notice other things too.

I went to a section called 'favorite genres' and since I had not filled it out they simply populated the fields of books I have entered. There weren't that many. Mostly YA Fiction books, particularly anything supernatural, fantasy or dystopian. Those are my favorite books. That is pretty much all I read.

WHAT???!!!! Suddenly the intellectual in me freaked out. Why I am spending so much time reading this stuff? My college self that read several theological books per week was...well to be honest, kind of ashamed. When was the last time I read something to teach me something? When was the last time a book made me angry b/c it was so wrong that I had to go write something in response to set it right? When was the last time...hmmm.

I find I am split. On the one hand, my job is the IRC librarian. One of my major responsibilities is to order children's and YA books. Our goal is to keep on top of what is new and trending in those genres so we can provide that information to new teachers and/or alumni who might be at schools with less resources. It is, in fact, part of my job to stay on top of these things! But let's be honest, I would read them anyway. I love reading them. I am inspired by them, but in different ways. I am inspired to write myself. I have started writing myself and I am excited about it.

On the other hand, who cares if I write one more fantasy YA fiction book? What does that do to change the world? To make it a better place for someone? (well as a book nerd I could answer that all day, but this side of me is more pragmatic). I wonder if I am wasting my time reading this stuff, and maybe even more in attempting to write it. Maybe I need to be reading about politics or theology or social justice or something...Maybe I am becoming one of those people in our culture that are dumbing down our culture. I mean not only reading fiction all the time but not even adult fiction? What is wrong with our society?

Oh wait...I LOVE reading this stuff.

But it doesn't MEAN anything.

But.....agggghhhh!!!!

I truly don't know where I come down. The two sides of me are very different. I think I have become more comfortable with the side of me that reads to be inspired, that reads for fun and for comfort and because I love it.

But the side of me that is both egotistical at times and always ideological thinks I have got to get back to the important things of life.

What do you think? I am very curious to know if others have faced this kind of question before and what your opinions are. I am going to continue to think, on both sides, and eventually I will try to fashion an answer to myself. I do not think this will be an easy assignment though!


P.S. I am seeing this for the first time several days later and just noticed my title...apparently I AM getting dumber and I am going to leave it that way....gah!