More small things...

That are kind of huge depending on your viewpoint.

I debated about blogging about this just yet, I still have a long way to go. A really long way.
But then someone reminded me that I should be proud of how far I have come. And I am.

I have officially lost 22 pounds in the past three months. That isn't as big of a deal as it should be because the truth is, I had gotten to my highest weight ever. When I started at my current job (also when I first moved back to Nashville) I weighed what I do now. So in just under a year and a half I had GAINED 22 pounds. That is a lot. I finally realized it had to stop. And that I wanted better for myself. The truth is I gain weight when things are not going well. Stress eating is a BIG thing for me. Kind of a family trait honestly. But I don't want that to be me.

So I found something that is working for me. Dirty Keto. Not exactly keto, more like just low carb but some of the main tenants of keto are there. What is different, to me is very important. I do not prioritize fat intake. That is what always turned me off about keto. Everyone was always...you get to eat all the red meat you want. Only...I am not that big of a red meat fan. I mean every now and then sure but for me...chicken like 95% of the time. So this form of keto actually prioritizes protein. So chicken, actually way better for my numbers than steak. That works for me. It is NOT easy. Some people say that they don't feel hungry and they lose their desire for sweets....none of those things have happened to me. BUT it is getting easier as I go and I am getting better at it. At eating healthy rather than just worrying about getting the right numbers in. It is hard when even fruits and veggies are mostly high in carbs. But at the end of the day the group I follow believes that it is about calorie deficit. Sure we track carbs but anything can fit into our form of keto...if it fits your numbers, it fits. AND if you mess up - just get back up and start again.

So...I still don't feel great about how I look. I still worry I won't be able to maintain this lifestyle. BUT, I lost what I had recently gained. I am excited about that. On the other hand I am still way over weight. Basically I have 40 more pounds to go. That number makes me doubt I can do it. BUT I made it 1/3 of the way. I am proud of myself. I am bettering myself, in many ways. Weight loss is a big one. I am not giving up. Not this time.