Saturday, September 28, 2019

So I did a huge thing...that is kind of a tiny thing

So those of you who keep up with me know that I have recently moved back to Manchester. Some  of you know the why. Actually it is a bit complicated. My Dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Shortly after that we went to a neurology appointment for him and a doctor told us with NO uncertainty, and quite a bit of condescension that he should NOT be living alone. She made me feel horrible for ever leaving him alone. At the same time the lease on my apartment was about to be up. I had to make a decision RIGHT THEN. So I ended my lease and moved back in with Dad. So now the complicated part. That doctor was at the VA in Murfreesboro. We are not really sure why he had an appointment with her. Normally he goes to the one in Nashville. The doctors there know him and his condition. They are not certain Alzheimer's is what he has after all. It is possible. He definitely has some kind of condition that is affecting his memory. But his doctor there says he does not agree with the Murfreesboro lady. He thinks the longer Dad can be independent the better it will be for him.

So....now I am living with Dad but neither one of us is really happy with the arrangement. Dad wants more freedom and frankly so do I. But I am not willing to go back to Nashville. I need to be close by.  I am very glad that things are not as bad as that woman made them sound but the reality is that Dad is sick. He is probably not going to get any better. I want to be here for him. So...what should we do?

Well let's add to the story. My nephew called me up about 2 weeks ago and asked if he could come stay with us. He is trying to get into a program called Job Corp. The truth is we have no idea how long he will be here. It could just be a few weeks...it could be a year. This isn't great for my Dad. He loves Michael but they have always butted heads and now he has TWO people living with him when he wants to be alone. He and I sat and discussed options. He suggested maybe Michael and I could get an apartment near by but we both agreed that it had to be something I could afford with or without Michael living with me.

I started looking online for rentals. Bottom line there aren't many in Manchester. And even those I could find were too much. But what comes up with rentals? Homes for sale. I saw two I liked. It seemed kind of crazy to think about buying a home in Manchester. I don't even like it that much here. But I decided to talk to Dad about it. I told him that if I bought a house in Manchester it would come with the condition - when his doctors (that he trusts) tells him he cannot live alone any longer he would have to come live with me rather than me move back in with him. To my surprise he agreed. I still wasn't certain it was a good idea but it was starting to seem like an option. I set up a viewing of the house I liked the best from the Internet. When the agent called me he told me that house was no longer on the market. That was almost the end of the story for me but I did agree to go see the other house.

When I saw it I fell in love. It is tiny. It is kind of odd (remember my old house? Lol...I have a type). I told the agent I wasn't sure I would even qualify to buy a home so he sent me to see a finance lady. She ran the numbers and said I totally did. She was awesome, answered all of my questions. Now I was getting excited. I went back home and asked Dad what he thought. Did he think that was a place he could live eventually? It is really small. Staying at his house would mean a lot more space for him to be comfortable. He said he really liked it to. It seemed like a really good deal and he could see me there and himself possibly in the future. I called my agent, we made an offer...and they agreed to it.

I bought a house! I know it might not seem like the smartest thing considering I don't love my job and am looking for a new one. And considering the market right now. And all kinds of things. I get it. But...it just is. I have never done things the 'normal' way. Many people thought quitting my job when Mom needed me was not the smartest thing either. It probably wasn't from a logical stand point but I will never regret it. I follow my heart. It might not make me the smartest but, it is who I am. I don't want to be any different.

So...if all goes well I should be moving into my new home in November. I am not sure if Michael will still be here and go with me or not. I don't know how long it will be before Dad might need to come live with me. I do know I am excited about it. I am living in Manchester, I have to and I want to - to be here for my Dad. But now I won't feel trapped at Dad's house. I will be able to stay out late b/c I am hanging with Nashville friends without worrying about waking him up. AND I will be able to be close enough that if he needs to go to the doctor or have me bring him something to eat, it will only take me 5-10 mins to get to him.

So here it is...my tiny huge thing (FYI it is not literally a tiny house like the ones that are so trendy right now but it is a pretty tiny house)


It is my little ginger house! Which is appropriate as I am a ginger! :) I love it. I hope to see many of you there!



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