Me and I

When I was a kid my musical choices were fairly limited. Well maybe I should say my Rock-n-Roll'esq musical choices were limited. There were 2 records that to this day I have no idea how got into my parents collection, but my sister and I WORE THEM OUT. They were a Fleetwood Mac and, even more popular with us, an Abba album. We would dance around our apartment holding our hairbrushes up as microphones and belt out those tunes like we had any idea what they were about. We, of course, did not. One of my favorites, however, was a tune called Me and I. I still love it and lately have decided it might be my new theme song.

I am not sure I ever had a theme song before. I am a huge Ally McBeal fan and thus always sort of felt I should probably have  theme song but...one never came to me. This might be it. Hopefully no dancing babies come with it though....uuugh.

I realize that nearly everything I blog about is related to my health and I gotta be honest, I have made peace with that. It might not be the most exciting thing for you as readers but it is my life. Some deal with families or relationships or new adventures...I deal with this. So I blog about this. No one is making you read.

Anyway, back to my theme song. Sorta. Last time I blogged I was in a BAD place. It got worse. I was at a point where I couldn't do anything. At one point I remember talking on the phone to my parents. They were on their way to come see me and it took them 2 hours to get to me. During that time I did nothing. I don't mean nothing useful or nothing productive. I mean nothing. I just sat there. I cried several times. I just couldn't move. I think I got up and went to the bathroom once. I just couldn't even really process making my body move. It was the worst I have ever been.

My parents took me home with them. I got some rest. The flare died down. I started to feel better. I went back home and then I saw my mom two days later. She just shook her head. She said, it is amazing how much better you seem. Without thinking I just replied, oh yeah I am like a different person. I haven't been able to let go of that thought. That is exactly how it is. Only not a totally different person. I always have fibromyalgia. I am always sick. But...I am not always like that. And sometimes I am feeling better but I am not feeling great.

We're like sun and rainy weather

Sometimes we're a hit together

Me and I

Gloomy moods and inspiration

We're a funny combination

me and I

It kind of is that way. I have to deal with both sides of me. There is the side of me that wants to do everything and be a part of life,but I also have be the part of me that cannot do it all and that will pay if I push myself. I can never forget either part of who I am. I am not who I was before. I am not only this person I have become. I am something new. Someone I am still learning about and trying to figure out. Maybe you will like her...us...me?...