Tonight is the Fourth of July and though I had decided to not go out (not even with my nephew if you can believe that) because I am just worn out. Emotionally exhausted and in need of some serious downtime. Naturally this did not happen, a friend called in serious pain. She broke a filling in her teeth and had no car available to go and get medicine so I went to Walgreens and then took her the medicine.
As I was driving the fireworks started. I didn't even think about it until I drove past the turn to your house and the colors exploded in the sky. Three years ago I spent the 4th with you. My mom had just had surgery. She had colon cancer and had most of her colon removed. The first two days after her surgery I spent driving grandparents back and forth from the hospital but that night decided I needed to get away. Of course at the time you were...my lifeboat. My escape from the cancer and sickness.
I came to your place and we ate pizza and sat on your porch. We held hands as the fireworks went off. It was the most peaceful I had felt in over a month and to this day one of my favorite memories.
You let me down...you broke me to be more honest. What we had was never really the thing it was that night. Never really meant anything...at least not to you. I know that. I don't want the rest of it back. But tonight I miss you so much. Tonight I wish you were here to hold my hand...I wish you really were the man you were that night with me.
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